OTWO,
She just wants to have her husband
and her false hopes.
You are dead on and I'm assuming this news must thrill you. She has chosen you over the organization! You know I've been following your story very closely and find it very encouraging that you can fade without losing your wife. That gives me hope that it can happen for me as well.
There is no other explaination to going from a gung-ho elder to inactive and not going to meetings in what, less than a year? I recently had a conversation with my father (a JW elder) about why I stepped down. Its been a few months but I haven't mentioned it to anyone in my family because I really don't consider it a big deal. I told him that it was too much and he agreed that its almost impossible to maintain the schedule that is expected of elders. Apparently, there is a person in his congregation who was a long time elder and when he stepped down, he took the same road as you did. Never comes to the meetings anymore and when questioned, says he was burnt-out. Somehow, my father buys that (on the surface), but deep down, he must know that this brother no longer believes. I'm convienced this is the case and often wonder if he's a poster or lurker here. And, I think deep down, my dad realizes that I don't believe either.
But, because no one wants anything to change, we all ignore the elephant sitting in the room. Eventually, it must be dealt with but I think your plan of not pushing too hard is the smartest one to follow. Good luck!!